My Weightloss Ticker

Friday, July 23, 2010


So yesterday I was super tired. I didn't sleep the night before. My husband and I got into a very heated argument in the morning. It really sucked. I ended up going with him up to his DBT class because he wa graduating. My daughter came with us. My back hurt so bad from being in the car, not to mention I have been nauseas and ended up purging twice in the same day, which normally I never ever do.

When I got home, I dropped pretty much dead in my bed. I slept from 7pm to 5am.

I don't even know where I was going with this, but this is what happened.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

I ask for help and this is what I get

Basically I am a fuck up. I ruin everything and I am not even worthy of comfort. Why do I exist? What is the point of all of this nonsense. I am so beat down right now it's ridiculous. The pain runs so deep and I fucking have absolutely no one in the whole wide fucking world here for me.

The Beginning

Hello all  of you amzaing beautiful peple who have decided to read my blog. It is still under construction and I should have it up and smooth in a couple hours but yeah. Thanks for being here! Follow me and we can support eachother.

Crying All Night

So all night I have been crying from being overwhelmed. I just got married on Saturday which was so amazing,but then my daughter finally decided to move in with me and it isoverwhelming, I feel unworthy of being her mother. I also had a damn binge from hell today and that screwed me up. I am also detoxing from Morphine, a pain medication I was taking for a while. It has been a very long and painful process but the cold sweats are gone finally. But damn, my ED brain is punishing me. "You lazy bitch" "Get the fuck up and do something NOW!" When I am in excruciating pain. I tell ED brain "hey I know I have at least 60 pounds to go here, and I am doing it but I am sick and I can barely move, do you have mercy?" "I have no mercy on pathetic peices of crap." Ugh...I can't take it! I feel like jumping off a cliff! End it all....

Ok so the profile is filled out

So I am going to start off, is there anything anyone wants to know about me?